Zoinks!

 My motivation for all of my work regarding the paranormal is pretty simple, I am interested in it, I want to learn more about it, and I want to help and educate others. A considerable number of people become involved with the paranormal because they see it as an opportunity to begin a career in either reality TV, or to promote their other professional endeavors, be it books, radio shows, or merchandise. It's not necessarily a bad business move, the paranormal has been an increasingly more prevalent topic among popular TV shows, books, and movies. From Twilight, Paranormal Activity, to Ghost Hunters our society is fascinated by all things paranormal.

Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to realize that almost all of the women on these paranormal reality shows were cast because they are ridiculously good looking, and probably not because they were the most capable, knowledgeable investigators the production company could find. This is truly a disservice to women who work in the field of paranormal research, and investigations. It reduces us to a commodity, and an accessory to accompany the "real" investigators. If you've ever tuned into these shows, you will notice that the men are very rarely as attractive as the women. Jason Hawes, Dustin Pari, and Britt Griffith are definitely not eye candy, certainly not when compared to Kris Williams. A quick google search reveals that most of these women are actors, models, or even made appearances in porn. For example, Jael De Pardo from "Fact or Faked" has been modeling since the age of 4, and it doesn't take long to find pictures of her scantily clad in lingerie and bikinis, nothing about her career screams "qualified paranormal investigator". 

These are the images that paranormal radio "Cryptomundo" used to advertise their interview with her. A clear indicator of how they wanted to portray her, and what they found most interesting about her. It is a shame, because I am sure she is much more interesting that her breasts.

As a woman, I have always found this to be incredibly frustrating, however in my earlier years I made the mistake of placing the blame on the actresses themselves. While I still don't agree with their choices, they are not the ones solely responsible for perpetuating this inequality in the paranormal entertainment business, the issue is much larger and the blame falls onto the entertainment industry at large. I don't see a resolution to this issue coming in the near future, sex sells a little too well, and even the backlash of disappointed fans isn't enough of a motivator for production companies to put a little more reality in their programs.

Oh God, I even have Velma's haircut...

 It would seem that I am a "Velma" in a world of "Daphnes", I sympathize quite a bit with the character of Velma Dinkley of the Scooby Doo franchise. She is slightly awkward, dons baggy sweaters, her romantic encounters are zero, and she is intelligent with a knack for science and historical research. On the other end of the spectrum, we have Daphne Blake, the wealthy socialite, token damsel in distress, with gorgeous hair and a tight fitting dress. I, unfortunately, couldn't be a Daphne, even if I tried. Unless, maybe, I hit the gym, bought myself some boobs, a tummy tuck, a new nose, and employed the help of a personal stylist. Even if I could do all of those things, I really wouldn't want to. I would much rather lead with my education and ability than I would be judged foremost by my outer appearance. My resume should speak louder than a portfolio of sexy head shots, but I am not naive. I know that in the entertainment business, appearance and ability in front of the camera are of significant importance. But, I do not think that finding women who are genuine investigators, who are good on camera, and are still attractive enough to be popular on TV is impossible.


While I may not be seeking a career in television, or film, as a woman this issue is still incredibly important to me. This affects the world of investigations off screen as well, as I have seen first hand groups of women trying to be "sexy" investigators, clinging to any gimmick they can grab a hold of, because it is the only way they believe they will be successful. When I first began investigating, I was told to "tone down" my appearance, to not wear make up on investigations, to not wear dresses to events, etc. I found this to be completely ridiculous because none of those things we inhibiting my ability to conduct myself on investigations, walk throughs, meetings, etc. As I became more involved in the paranormal community, I heard conversations about different female investigator's appearances on more than one occasion, oddly enough, not once was I around to hear the discussion of a male investigators appearance, or whether or not it was appropriate. If we want change, we will have to start with ourselves, and hope that Hollywood catches on.

Happily Ever After

As a young girl, our heads are filled with stories that end with "Happily Ever After", that magical turning point in life where all your troubles are swept away. Often, these stories circulate around a love story, and that turning point is often the moment when two people finally come together, totally in love, and ride off into the sunset. I was raised to believe that happiness can be attained, and that once you find it, its yours. Around this time last year, I was incredibly unhappy. I was at the point of complete dissatisfaction with everything around me, and I wanted change. I was determined to put together all the pieces needed to reach my happily ever after, and no, this was not solely about romance. I wanted to find out what I needed to do to make myself the person I wanted to be, needed to be, to be happy.

I decided that I would make a list of resolutions for the new year, and for those of you that are groaning at the happily ever after crap, and the fact that I make new years resolutions, hang tight, Ghost Girl isn't totally pathetic. In fact, starting this blog was one of my resolutions...among the rest were things like "be positive", "go out more often", "attend a Blazers game", "break ties with the negative people in my life", etc. With these resolutions, I found a new motivation for my life and I felt that much closer to finding my "happily ever after". I found a love for the Portland Trail Blazers, and spent many nights in the cheap seats, cheering enthusiastically for a team which played mere minutes from my house, but that I had never taken the time to follow. I joined a new paranormal investigation team, where I found new faith in myself as an investigator, and for the first time in a long time, I felt respected in this field. While I may have promised this wasn't solely about romance, I didn't say it wasn't a factor. I'm sure you can imagine the struggle of meeting someone when your nickname is "Ghost Girl", and you spend your free evenings in the local cemetery. So, I did something that surprised everyone I know, myself included, and took up online dating. I hate dating, I am a socially awkward nerd, and I was admittedly terrified of putting myself out there. But I did it, I received countless creepy emails, far more hate mail about the paranormal than I could have expected, I was stood up more times than I care to admit, had my fair share of bad dates, and never found love. I did however find a new sense of hope, while I may not have had any success this round, I learned that even I, the nerdy girl with social anxiety, could handle dating. With all these resolutions, I saw my life change in ways I couldn't have imagined, and I have realized that I have changed too.

Now, a year later, I found myself feeling somewhat defeated. I felt as though I had failed to reach my ultimate goal, because I hadn't found all the pieces to complete this puzzle that was happiness. So, I was at the drawing board once again. I began crafting new tasks for myself, making a checklist of all the things I thought I needed to accomplish to make me happy. Among these, were things like "get a new job", "make more money", "lose weight", and some more trivial things. While I did this, I wondered when I would finally reach this goal I felt I was so tirelessly pursuing. Somewhere along that train of that, I had a moment, you know those "A-ha" moments like Oprah has, and I realized that my thinking needed to change. I was frustrated because I had set for myself an unattainable goal of somehow having all the pieces of my life, perfectly aligned at once. It was this school of thought that made me forget all the happiness I had along the way this year. I focused on all the work I had put forth, and instead of being proud of myself, I was upset, because I felt owed a happy life in return. You know those dumb quotes, the ones people are always plastering on greeting cards? Well, I am about to use one, if you don't like it-bite me,  here it goes: Happiness is a Journey, not a Destination.

I will never have a"Happily Ever After" if I am looking for something that I can put together that will satisfy me for the rest of my life. I am ever evolving, and my idea of happiness will have to keep up. I can be happy for the rest of my life, it just won't come from making myself, and my life, "perfect".  It will come from finding happiness in my life, even in the imperfect moments. I am so much happier with who I am today, than who I was a year go, and I want to maintain that trend. That drawing board is calling my name once again, this time to craft a better set of resolutions for the coming year. I am so looking forward to it.